I cracked up when I read this winning entry from Eric Rice of Sun Prairie, Wis. for worst  opening sentence to a novel in the detective category of  The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, affectionately known as “It was a dark and stormy night” contest.

“She walked into my office on legs as long as one of those long-legged birds that you see in Florida the pink ones, not the white ones except that she was standing on both of them, not just one of them, like those birds, the pink ones, and she wasn’t wearing pink, but I knew right away that she was trouble, which those birds usually aren’t.”